We love games, as Michelle may or may not have mentioned before. We once made a very intricate Twilight board game while in our Childhood Literacy class, which TRUST ME is much better than the one they are selling on the shelves at your local Target. Unfortunately for us, the marketed version of the Twilight board game beat us to the punch, thus making our version obsolete.
|This is a real thing we made, people.|
|Tell me you don't want to play this game.|
Fortunately, this is not our only board game idea. Again, unfortunately, all of the rest of the ideas were also marketed and sold before we could get ours to Milton Bradley, Hasbro, or Parker Brothers. If any of those companies are the same as each other, don't tell me. I prefer to continue thinking they are all their own selves.
Due to recent events, we have found our next big money board game idea.
Michelle has a problem. She jumps to ridiculous conclusions when we are discussing or observing situations.
While internet researching the possibility of pregnancy by toilet seat (you really don't want to know why we were discussing this, I promise) Michelle wondered why there were so many posts about this on the internet. More specifically on a Canadian Teens website. What do Canadian Teens need this information for?
Michelle: Maybe it is for girls who are like... obsessed with being pregnant and babies and just want to be pregnant so badly that they need to know if this is a way. That's real, I saw it on Maury once. A bunch of 13 year-olds who wanted to get pregnant with their boyfriends. And it was way before Teen Mom was on MTV, so they didn't even know about that untapped market. Or maybe they are trying to entrap someone. She wants to have a specific person's baby, so she's wondering if she can do it via toilet seat.
Lindsey: Maybe some pregnant girl is just trying to lie to her parents about having sex, so she needs to know if the toilet seat lie will work or not.
Michelle: Yes, that is more plausible than my idea.
Michelle's dog Abbie loses her toys, often. And I use the word "loses" loosely, because she doesn't really lose them, she hides them. Except for her squeaking toy. That one she always has out and plays with CONSTANTLY slowly driving us crazy with the sounds of her squeaks. Michelle just bought her a few new, non-squeaking, toys so as to try to preserve our sanity. The other day we returned home from a short trip to the store to discover the new green snowflake chew toy was not in the middle of the floor where it was when we left. Michelle was torn between being thrilled she had played with it, and terrified that she lost/hid it. Michelle glanced about the apartment and found no green snowflake anywhere.
Michelle: I cannot find it.
Lindsey: It's gone.
Michelle: It probably is. She went out while we were gone and sold it for beer money. Or she already ate the entire thing.
Lindsey: Or she hid it with the other toys that all suddenly go missing.
Michelle: Yea, that makes more sense than her eating the entire thing in less than 10 minutes.
Leaving Wal-Mart, a large white van with no windows stalks us to our parking spot. Naturally, Michelle assumes they are trying to kidnap us. I'll go ahead and give her that one, since windowless vans are pretty notorious for that. However, after we were safely locked in the vehicle and the van was still sitting apparently waiting for us to leave, this ensued.
Michelle begins backing the car out.
Michelle: Is he sitting there, waiting for my spot? Just waiting for me to back out so he can take this non-desirable spot near the back of the parking lot? Not to mention there are at least seventeen open spots in any given direction.
The van then proceeds to park in the spot next to the one we vacated, very crookedly and surely over the white line.
Michelle: Then he doesn't even take the space? He sits there and waits for it, and then doesn't take it?
Lindsey: Maybe he's just really bad at parking and wanted you to be gone so he could park his massive windowless van without the fear of hitting your car on his way in. He parked over the line.
Michelle: Fine. I don't know why I assume these crazy things and you come to the most rational conclusions about everything.
And in the Target parking lot, an idea was born. Walking to our car we witnessed two younger girls, approximately 12 and 8, crossing the parking lot by themselves to get to their car. The older one suddenly breaks out in a run and begins to encourage the younger one to run also.
Girl: Run! Hurry up!! Go faster!
Michelle: If those were my children I would be furious with her for running through the parking lot without holding her sister's hand and then making her little sister run, too. That is very unsafe.
Lindsey: Maybe their father is abusive and he gave them a time limit and said if they weren't back in the car before time was up he would leave them there.
Michelle: (Stops in place and stares at me in awe) Did you really just say that? You think that could be happening?
Lindsey: No. They are kids, kids make dumb choices, like running through a parking lot while their 8 year old sister lags behind. I was once and 11 year old with an 8 year old sister, it seems like something we would have done. It's an idea I had for a new game, Jumping to Conclusions. It could make us rich.
I cannot divulge anymore about what the game entails, because frankly I've probably told you too much already. If this game is on the shelves before Michelle and I are able to sell our version we will know it was one of you. Don't steal our idea... It will hurt our feelings.