Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Bachelor Update 1/28

Happy TUESDAY Bachelor fans!

Sorry Michelle and I didn't get our update posted sooner, we had technical difficulties with our DVR and had to wait to see last night's episode. But fear not- we have it all recapped and ready for you now!

Sean jumped right into a date with our friend Selma, who is fun, perky, and seemingly sweet. Going into the date Selma had a pretty high Couch Potato Princess approval rating, which I am sure is the statistic that has been the most important to her throughout this journey ;)

Sean's first stop for Selma was rock climbing. You know, because that's how all girly girls dream of a first date starting. Sean chose Selma for the rock climbing date because she was a self proclaimed non-athlete. Again, I'm sure she was dying for this rock climbing date to be hers. Beyond that, Selma made an offhanded mention of a fear of heights. I have a fear of heights, and not an offhanded one. In fact, at the circus this past weekend I could not even watch the high wire act because seeing them up there all balancy and brave sent me very nearly into a panic attack. I am skipping Cirque du Soleil this weekend with my family because the last time I went I could not watch more than half of the show. If someone brings me on a "rock climbing date" I am saying no.

But Selma said yes, and she climbed a rock. Sean and Selma enjoyed the view from the top and had some sweet moments together before Sean asked her to go to dinner with him. At which point, I ask you- how does one get down from the top of a rock they have just climbed?

Sean took Selma on a dinner date to a weird, kitschy trailer park. I am not sure what to say about this because it was not particularly offensive, but it was also not a 5 star restaurant like other ladies were treated to. During the course of their evening the subject if Selma's culture came up, at which point Selma explained that she would not be able to kiss Sean until after she was the only person he was dating, and that doing it on TV was out of the question. Kudos to Selma for staying true to her roots and her beliefs because not everyone is strong enough to do something like that. Also, most likely she has tripled her stock and increased her chances exponentially, as she is now the only one one the show who is playing hard to get. Selma of course accepted the rose when Sean offered it and the two continued their snuggle session.

The only complaint we really have about Selma is her voice. She did an overly high pitched, baby voice kind of thing while with Sean, which was not exactly endearing. But he seemed to like it, so what do I know?

The group date featured roller derby, naturally.

Sean took eight of the remaining contestants on a very risky roller derby date. The girls were going to get the opportunity to hone ( a word which incidentally auto-corrects to "praline") their skills before competing against end another in an actual roller derby. Really? These girls are already competing for Sean's affections, and it can get heated, so you're going to put them in a situation where they can actually throw punches? This is bringing me back to the boxing type date Ashley Herbert Rosenbaum had on her season when Ames got a concussion. Stop doing these dates!

It is worth mentioning that Sean brought Sarah along on this date. If you'll recall, Sarah only has one arm. I am not an expert in this, nor am I an expert in situations referring to balance, but I think it is possible that Sarah may have some trouble balancing in roller skates. I am not saying this isn't something that is totally able to be overcome, but Sarah has not been given the opportunity to practice. She was very obviously uncomfortable, she fell several times, and really homegirl just wanted to give it up. Ashlee (who is still only getting a lowercase L in her name) became Sarah's champion and encouraged her to get back out there, otherwise she might regret it. Sean also came to Sarah and told her it was totally acceptable for her to decide she didn't want to continue, but that she probably would not be happy if she quit. Ultimately, Sarah did get back out there and overcame both a physical and emotional hurdle.

Amanda is a model. I don't like models on the show on principal, just because they are models. It is probably not fair, I should give them all a chance, blah, blah, blah. But I don't. Amanda, however, decided to tell the other girls that she had roller derbied before, and in fact she was a member of a roller derby club. This was all a lie that the other girls all believed. It also made me like her more. Inexplicably, I am now a fan of a model on The Bachelor. Ok, not inexplicably. It is because she's a liar. Later in the date, Amanda fell... Hard. You may know that I have had some experience with falling down recently, but unfortunately Amanda had it a little bit worse than the skinned knees which have plagued me as of late. Amanda whacked her chin on the rink so hard she had to be sent to the hospital-- just in case her jaw was broken. No bigs.

After her fall, Sean of course came prancing over to her, in his sneakers, to check on her well being. You know Sean, these girls are out there, roller skating to impress you, and I only saw you in skates for like 12 seconds, while you were sitting. Rude.

When a gal gets sent to the hospital it just may be time to abandon the date you are on, which, thankfully, Sean did. Roller derby turned to a roller skating party, which was much more appropriate for the situation at hand.

Off the skates and onto a party, where the ladies vied for Sean's attention and Amanda rejoined the party with a swollen jaw, but not too worse for wear. While Sean was taking turns talking to the girls Robyn made the immature choice to purposely leave Tierra out of a conversation she was having. Tierra naturally handled it with all the grace and poise of a toddler and threw a complete temper tantrum. She began asking production assistants if she could leave, then went on a search for Sean so she could tell him about all the wrongs that had been committed against her. Sean basically handled this by begging her to stay and giving her the rose. Really? Do you really not see through this ploy? This is a problem season after season. There is always one contestant who is a complete phony and does everything in their power to cause drama to further their own agenda. Bentley, Vienna, Kalan, Courtney, Michelle Money... I am sure all these names are bringing back not so fond memories for you. Do all of the Bachelors and Bachelorettes really not see through the acts they are putting on? Or do the producers tell them to keep these drama kings and queens around for ratings? It's problematic, for sure.

Our last date was a one on one with Leslie H. We are not particularly a fan of Leslie. She has kind of a horse face. Which is not not why we don't like her, because we do like some horse faces, for example Starr Manning from General Hospital. We are huge Starr fans.
Anyhow, my initial feeling about this date is the Sean is trying to determine if Leslie needs to leave, and he is using it as a weeding out process. Which is I suppose what he is supposed to be doing in this game. Sean gave Leslie a pair of diamond earrings and then took her shopping on Rodeo Drive a la Pretty Woman. Leslie did not really look super lovely in much that she tried on. The dresses all seemed really old fashioned and just weren't great style choices. But she settled on an olivey colored dress and received shoes and purse to go with it. Sean and Leslie then went to dinner and their conversation was boring no forced.

At this point Michelle said: Her laugh makes me uncomfortable. Write that down.

It is appropriate that Michelle felt uncomfortable because Leslie seemed uncomfortable throughout the date and overcompensated by using a high pitched voice and a grating laugh.

Sean then proceeded to send Leslie home, which was really best for all parties involved.

At the cocktail party Tierra was a major topic of discussion amongst the girls, which is of course what she wanted. Tierra then got very dramatic and claimed that the attention and the drama was in fact the opposite if what she wanted. She pulled Robyn and Jackie aside and gave them a very condescending apology. After she accused them of previously attacking her she tells the cameras that the whole conversation was fake. Way to be a stand up girl, Tierra. (Oh, hey Lesley M! This is the first time I have even seen you on camera tonight!)

Sean only sent one girl home at the rose ceremony, the delightful and funny Amanda who had a visible bruise on her chin after her roller skating accident. Not cool, Sean.

You know who came off as kind of a jerk tonight? Sean. He invited an unathletic girl on a rock climbing date, just because. He had a roller derby and invited a balanced challenged girl along. He bought into Tierra's dramatics. And he sent home the girl who went to the hospital because of him. Pull it together, Sean.

After tonight we like a few more girls than I would have admitted to liking last week.

Lesley is still our number one, since no one surpassed her tonight. We do also like Ashlee, Selma, and Jackie (which admittedly may be just because of her pretty hair).

Until next time Bachelor Fans!

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