Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Let the Man Drama Commence!

Because boy, did it. This season's crop of Bachelor's will apparently NOT disappoint with the drama factor. But I'll get to all that later.

Last night I had to watch The Bachelorette without Michelle, so naturally I brought in a special guest to help me with the recap: Jean! I will be sure to share her invaluable opinion with you all throughout the recap. ;)

First and foremost- Zak is wearing a shirt. This may be the first time we have seen him in a shirt. I am having a hard time deciding if this is good news or bad news. Good to know he at least does own a shirt, even though he could potentially never wear one if he lived in a warm enough climate. 

Anyhow, let's start with Desiree's first one on one date of the season with Brooks.

Desiree took Brooks to a wedding salon. Because all men want their first date to be picking out wedding dresses and tuxes. But Brooks didn't seem to mind as he pranced about in a leprechaun green tuxedo.
After Brooks was dressed a little more appropriately and Desiree had a wedding dress on, the two ran out of the store and hopped in their baby blue Bentley ready for a night of adventure or perhaps a trip to a drive by wedding chapel. 

Desiree drove them to what appeared to be the top of a mountain and the two of them began a bit of a hike. Our guest potato brought up a good point here; did they pay for these outfits? They are traipsing about in the dirt and dust wearing wedding costumes (yes, costumes) that, for as much as we know, they stole. I mean, I'm sure ABC covered the cost and it should be more about the magic of the date but we have real and logical questions over here. But I digress.

Desiree and Brooks then made a quick little jaunt out to the Hollywood sign where they sat and overlooked the city sharing their first kiss. You know, a typical Monday for the rest of us. 

After dressing themselves in more appropriate attire our dynamic duo were out for a luxurious drive when they happened upon a blocked off road. Desiree thought it would be really fun to move the road blocks and venture down the streets, which made Brooks very nervous. Almost visibly so. Des is a jokester, so I was less nervous. Turned out there was a beautiful dinner set up for them to enjoy. See, Brooks? I told you there was nothing to worry about ;)

Brooks I don't actually remember from the premiere, so I can only imagine that he didn't make too much of an impression on me. However, after last night's show he has grown on me a bit. With shorter, less greasy hair I'd probably like him even more. 

During dinner Des asked some questions about Brooks' family, and he seemed uneasy about opening up to her. There's only like a million people watching.. not sure what his hold up might be... In the end, he decided to share with Desiree, which was a good move since he got a rose out of it. Then in the most normal of first date activities; Andy Grammer showed up to perform a private concert. 

Not impressed, ABC. Get me Celine, and we'll talk.

As I said Desiree did in fact give Brooks a rose so he will be back to Date Another Day. (See what I did there, Danny? I put a James Bond reference in there so all our male readers would know we still love and care about them even through all this Bachelorette drama. We are trying, I promise!)

Moving on to what has to be my favorite group date in history: shooting a rap video. 

There were a lot of guys on this date. I can't name them all. I have a hard time learning the names of the male contestants. There are a lot of them and they all kind of look alike.. all buff and well groomed for the most part. The women have more distinct features and it is much easier for me to learn their names. Anyway, that is off topic.

Desiree invited her good friend Soulja Boy to come by and help her swooning suitors learn to rap and dance for what I am sure will be the best produced rap video of this decade. At first I thought, "Meh. That's kind of a silly idea for a date. But whatever works for you Des." Then I realized the rap made fun of past Bachelors and contestants. And I could not stop laughing.

After the video shoot was a wrap, we went to the traditional party that follows a group date where the men try to make a connection with Desiree and earn the coveted group date rose ensuring them a return to Bachelor Mansion next week.

Zak got Desiree some kind of journal that she thought was really cool. Truth time: I wasn't paying quite as much attention to this part, so I am not 100% sure what this book was. Feel free to leave a comment and let me know. Whatever is was, Desiree really loved it. Way to put on your clothes and make something happen, Zak.

And then there was Ben. Who I do not like. He reminds me of a mix of Kalen and Bentley. He's completely self important like Kalen with a bit more of Bentley's demeanor. Could not stand him. Luckily for me, the other guys hate him a lot, too. So at least I'm not alone. (We'll see if anyone dulls his sparkle before the season is over.) The thing is, I don't really have a reason I don't like him. I just think he has a superior attitude and seems kind of deceitful, like he's constantly lying and hiding things. Plus, his attitude is borderline inappropriate. And if a guy is borderline inappropriate when he first meets you and in a social setting, then that's who he is, whether it is with your friends, your family, or eventually the PTA. And really, does anyone want to bring an inappropriate guy to hang out with their girlfriends or their mom? It doesn't sit well with me. But that's just me. We'll see what happens. (Jean confirmed all my thoughts about Ben, she concurs that he is a jerk.)

DRAMA ALERT: These boys are gossiping, complaining, and whining about Ben worse than a gaggle of middle school girls who just learned that Kelly stole Jessie's boyfriend during lunch. If you are in the mood to see a bunch of grown men whine and complain you will have to look no further, because these guys have got it down. And Mikey T., do not think it has escaped me that you are the ringleader in the Anti-Ben Complainer Nation Movement (ABCNM for short). Drama, drama, drama.

Sweet little Brandon carved out some time to talk with Desiree and he was so nervous and self conscious it was almost painful, poor little guy. Brandon comes from humble beginnings and has a sad story to tell and it was almost like he was afraid he wouldn't be enough because he's not grand and spectacular like that super annoying Ben thinks he is. I do like Brandon, and he didn't wear pants in your music video Desiree, you could throw the kid a bone and give him the group date rose.

Oh, what's that? You're going to give it to Ben? The guy no one likes? Yea, that's cool. No one has ever done that before. I am sure it will work out better for you than for the others. Desiree, did you learn nothing from the disaster that was Tierra last season? Or Kalen? Or Bentley? Or Vienna? Or Michelle Money? There's like a thousand more I can list. But I won't.

Next Desiree took Bryden on a one on one date road trip.

Bryden has never been to California and Desiree says it is the place that embodies her, so he was clearly the perfect choice for such a date :)

Bryden was super cute, and has maintained his position as this Couch Potato Princess's favorite bachelor. He brought out a lighter, fun side of Desiree, who is pretty light and fun anyway, so that's saying something. Bryden opened up and shared some personal stories with Desiree.

Personal stories are always the way to a rose, gentlemen. Which Bryden got. Making us sure that we will see his super cute face again next week.

Desiree and Bryden took a swim in the pool because it wouldn't be a complete episode until someone went swimming in the pool. They were getting closer and closer to that moment where you tell the girl you had an excellent time then you kiss her. And Bryden was telling her... and telling her... and telling her... And then Desiree finally told him, just kiss me already!

Quote from Michelle via text: I also like Desiree's take charge attitude. We can all learn from her.

At the cocktail party Desiree wore a beautiful shimmery dress that reminded me of a mermaid. I have a special place in my heart for mermaids. ;)

The ABCNM was out in full force at this ceremony. It was a hot mess. They even confronted Ben out in front of the mansion. This may present us with more cat fights than the girls ever have, so please, stay tuned.

In cast off news:

Premature Will was sent home.. Perhaps he peaked too soon?
Robert and Nick M were also sent home... I am not entirely sure that they have been on the show the whole time. Either way, Nick, our guest potato Jean is returning home to Charlotte today.. Go ahead and look her up ;)

Sorry tonight's post is so long... I clearly had a lot to say! Hopefully you enjoyed the show and my ramblings! Follow the link to see Desiree's super awesome rap video!!

see the video here: http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-bachelorette/video/PL5556208/_m_VDKA0_7p5ypgzj


  1. The book was from an antique store with a note from a dad to his daughter...weird but still sweet.

    I have never been a fan a Ben. He is super SHADY! also if you have ever seen Bates Motel he looks like Deputy Shelby who is also extremely Shady (fyi- Tim was the one who pointed this look alike-ness to me meaning he was clearly watching the show with me!)

    Bryden is my favorite too!!! I agree with Michelle on Des taking charge I was telling at my TV "just kiss her already!"

    I'm looking forward to next week to see who's girlfriend is making an appearance my guess is Ben (only cause I think he is that much of a "pig")

    1. Thanks for explaining! Glad to know you also don't like him. Shady is a good term. I believe I have heard that it is Brian who has a girlfriend. Which is interesting since last night i heard him talking about his failed relationship last night!

  2. Ha ha ha! We are big Bachelor watchers at our blog, too! This was HILARIOUS! Spot on observations, too!-The Dose Girls

    1. Thanks for reading! I found your blog through The Blogess' site and have really been enjoying your posts. Hope you'll stop back by for another Bachelor recap next week :)